My Hero
by MyTeenageDream
Summary: When Kris told Adam he'd do anything to repay him, he didn't expect this...KRADAM! NOTE-I used to be strangerthanfictionclub


My Hero…

Okay…Adam is **bold** (because he is), Kris is normal (because he is), Lila is _italics _(um…), and Drake is underline (I got nothing), Bob is _underlined italics_ (yeah, still nothing…).

Disclaimer on my profile…blahblahblahblahblah…

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**Kris…Kris…are you okay? Why are you all blue?**

_He's choking you moron._

**Oh…MOUTH TO MOUTH! **

_He's conscious you bastard. You're supposed to use the Heimlich Maneuver. _

**Why aren't you doing anything?**

_Because I'm enjoying watching him choke to death._

**Death? NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I'll save you my love! Wait…what am I doing…**

_Adam…he passed out…_

**MOUTH TO MOUTH! Yay!**

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Where-where am I?

**You're in the hospital! I saved your life!**

_I watched you almost die…It was fun until this bozo figured out what to do…After he passed three "What to Do When Someone's Choking" signs, he decided to try to read them…_

Oh…thanks Adam. I owe you. If you ever need anything…

**Kris, I need you to…**

_I'm gonna go now…_

So what do you want Adam?

**Well, first, GET BETTER GOD DAMNIT! I want to start making you do stuff so you can solve my shitty problems!**

Okay…thanks?

**No problem!**

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(Kris is back home. The phone rings.)

Hello?

**Hi sexy.**

Hi Adam.

**Can you help me?**

What do you want me to do now? I already cleaned your house, which was extremely dirty, did your laundry, which was pretty scarring, and fed your cat, which was kind of hard considering you don't have one!

**I NNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD you Kris! I NNNEEEEEEEEE-**

Okay, I got it the first time…I'm coming…

**Okay… *hangs up***

I'm starting to regret telling that bitch I'd help him…

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Okay Adam, what do you want me to do now…And why is your head in a bucket of water?

**It not water…I'm trying to drown myself in my tears! *bursts into tears***

So you want me to clean this up?

**No…**

Then why am I here?

**Because…because…*burst into tears***

What? Your boyfriend dumped you and you want me to have sex with you to get over it, or-

**Well, you were partly right…**

Adam, I'm not going to-

**No…and you and Lila call ME the stupid one…While that WOULD be nice, Drake…Drake…cheated on me with some guy named Bob! He said "life's too short to waste time with someone as stupid as you"… *bursts into tears***

Not again…Adam…I get it…You're upset, but what do I have to do with that?

**Well, since my EX is a cheating bastard, I want you to pretend to be my new boyfriend!**

Really Adam? You DO know-

**I understand.**

You do? Really?

**I thought you said you'd do anything for me…But I guess I was wrong…I have such great friends…You…my bastard of an ex…you…**

Adam…Fine…I'll do it.

**Prove it.**

What?

**Kiss me. Tell me you love me. Tell me-**

Adam, we're in your room…just us…No one else will ever know we're fake-dating.

**Kris…**

Fine. Adam I love you. *kisses Adam*

**Thank you. Now say it like you mean it.**

I can't believe I'm saying it at all…

**Kris…consider this…practice. For when we try to make Drake jealous!**

Ugh…This will be a LONG night…

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Adam, I'm not ready.

**Kris…we've been over this 4092184184 times. All you have to do is kiss me back. I'll do the rest.**

Fine…You just HAD to take me strip club…

**It's Drake favorite place. **

I don't want to know…

**Here's Drake now…**

Seriously Adam?!?

**Relax Kris, if anyone sees us, I'll say you're drunk.**

But I don't look drunk.

**Act drunk.**

Adam, you KNOW I suck at acting…

**Kris…Fine. Drink this then.**

OH Adam! I LOVE YOU!

**I love you too Kris, now come on. I have an ex to get back at.**

Whatever you say Adam! I love you!

**Hello Drake.**

Hi Adam. You met Bob, right?

**Yes, hi Bob.**

_Hi Adam._

Adam! I wanna go-

**Relax Kris! Say hi to Drake and Bob!**

Hi Blake, Dob.

**Oh God…**

So…uh, Adam…this is your boyfriend?

YES! I AM IN LOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE WITH ADAM LAMBERT

Okay then…

**Excuse us for a second. *Pushes Kris over* Advice. SHUT THE FUCK UP!**

Whatever you say sexy!

**Ugh…Kris…I love you when you're drunk, but…**

So…Adam…

**Drake…**

_Bob!_

Bob, what did I tell you about not talking?!?

_Oh! I know this! I know this! I-pass?_

And he called YOU stupid…

**Kris…shut up…**

_Yeah Kris shut up!_

He-he's, uh, drunk and-

**Him too…**

Adam! So when is-

**Kris…shut up…**

_Yeah Kris, shut up!_

Funny…I got the same response from my second grade class…

_What is that supposed to mean little bitch?_

You're…oh, fuck, YOU SUCK!

_So you want to go that way…_

BRING IT ON BITCH!

(Kris and Bob get into a fight...)

_Wait! Who goes first?_

I don't know…Rock Paper Scissors?

_Fine with me…_

You cheated!

_No I didn't…My hand was out before yours!_

You know, screw the game *punches Bob* WINNER GETS ADAM!

_I'm too drunk to figure out who he is, but if he's hot I'll take him!_

Okay then…

**GO KRIS! I REALLY don't want to have Bob…Ugh…**

So, Adam…what I was going to say…I'm sorry about before and-

**Look Drake, I'm with Kris now…at least until he's sober, BUT, what I'm saying is I have a boyfriend, and-**

Uh, Adam…you might not have a boyfriend by the time Bob's done…

**True…**

So if Bob kills Kris…

**Whatever…**

Hm…so if I can't have you, I'll have to win you…LOOK OUT BITCHES! I'M GONNA BEAT YOU!

(Drake joins fight)

(Kris, _Bob_, and some random fangirl…)NOT A CHANCE!

**Wow…am I only one who isn't drunk…I'll take one…*sees glass* Ooh! Coke! *drinks and spits out* wow that was the worst Coke I've ever had…OMG! I WANT THIS ADAM GUY WHO I'M TOO DRUNK TO FIGURE OUT WHO HE IS! YAY!**


End file.
